My personal conception of a loving relationship. Small philosophy.

In a loving relationship Loyalty has to be central to the various aspects of which a relationship is constructed, namely a.o.: respect, communication, physical attraction and -ability. For instance, in respect one has to be loyal to one’s partner, in the given situation that the partner gives an advice and you would just ignore his/her contribution, this is not an example of respect, and has to be avoided as often as possible. Within communication one has to be loyal, not to speak badly about his counterpart to third parties. It is important always to form a front, even when one is not really agreeing with his partner at the moment they have to stand together on one line. ‘T is a disgrace when partners would insult each other behind their back.

The physical attraction and ability is obvious, but for the sake of clarification I will explore it a bit more. When we are loyal in our physical attraction to our partners, we should be as serious as not even fantasizing of ever doing anything with anybody else. In this regard it is important to recognize that for both parties it’s assuring that the partner is loyal and faithful in this view. Especially for a girl, who is seen to give rather than to receive, loyalty of her partner is essential in her being able to genuinely love and respect her partner. If her partner is not loyal to her, and because of that they have to break up, she automatically gets a bad reputation because she gave her body to her partner to give him pleasure. This is both for the man and woman bad, because the man gets physically distracted without the aim of constructing a long-term relationship that involves supporting a wife and children. And the woman in this situation has the reputation of being degraded, not keeping her husband focused and leaving him too much on the bodily platform. Thus having a physical relationship is not bad, but one has to be loyal to his/her partner.

In communication one has to always make his/her best effort to word their opinions as clear as possible, in order to advance mutual understanding. This is being loyal in communication, partner deserves the best explanation possible, one has to practice and try to create the best. Especially in my situation, not speaking in my mother-tongue, I have to learn how to explain myself when talking about philosophically difficult, emotional or otherwise deep matters. At the same time one is loyal when one listens with his/her full attention to what the other has to say. So the attempt to make each other understand to the fullest what/how we feel is being loyal. In relationships with other friends it is sometimes okay to just listen without much attention. But in a loving relationship, when putting each other as priority, also the communication has to be the most fluent possible. And i'm not even talking about lying, hiding truth and other unbearable things. Don't do that shit. Never. Ever. 

Within respect there are many forms of loyalty, but according to what I have experienced it all comes down to accepting and requesting the intelligence from someone who is considered to be more knowable in that particular subject matter. For instance, I know more than most people about Taekwondo and the finer techniques. I would very much appreciate it when people ask my advice in this matter. My boyfriend is interested and has done a lot of research in politics. He is more knowable in this matter than I am, he would certainly appreciate it when I accept his teachings, of course while thinking critically, but still consider his sayings as sensible. It is important to recognize that sometimes someone is more experienced than you are. How loyalty comes in here? When I learn something new, I will always ask my second half what he thinks about this matter. I think it is not honorable to just accept other’s opinions without consulting him. That can lead to a lesser mutual understanding, and that again leads to a decrease of the desire to talk to each other and discuss matters. Of course, when there, even after intense discussions, is still a difference of opinion, it stays important to respect each other’s opinion and try to act accordingly with that person. For instance a small analogy: I know he does not like broccoli so much. I know I do, but I will respect his preference and try to cook with it as little as possible.

Still, I can eat broccoli myself whenever I want, and I should do so because it stays essential to be also loyal to yourself. If you cannot do anything to yourself, for instance respecting, being loyal, communicating (as in thinking) to yourself, making your own opinion clear for yourself then it’s impossible to do this to anyone else.

 Love with passion
Respect like you respect yourself

be honest and faithful

the other one is also an individual soul

he/she is worth your effort.